The Left Coast Biased

Two weeks ago I was ready. I had analyzed the teams, contrasted personnel strengths, evaluated various statistical trends. I knew that the Cardinals were going to kill the Eagles. Maybe I wasn't expecting them to take their foot off the gas and stop running the ball, letting the Eagles back in the game, but my prediction for half time was 28-12. Here is a recap of the salient points from my pregame chat with my boy Webster:

1- God and Puppies: Kurt Warner is currently the Shining Light of Christianity in professional sports. Not of the "I want to thank God for this win before I go beat my girlfriend and shoot myself in the leg" variety, but rather the actual believing, regularly attending church, really loving people, and hoping to make a difference in his community and the world in a positive way variety. He is everything you would want a Christian athlete to be, regardless about how you feel about Christians, or athletes. The timing is going to work out perfectly for Kurt to pass this mantle on to Tim Tebow, but for know it still rests gloriously on his shoulders. In addition to this, Kurt, well, his wife, promised his children that if he won the Superbowl they would get a puppy!! Sound familiar? If Obama has taught us nothing else, know this- with out hugely compelling reason you should never buck God and puppies.

2- Nobody believed in them (karmic balance): It is a widely known fact that sports team draw tremendous motivation from being told that they can't or won't be able to accomplish something. Movies are made, the Rocky theme song is played, tears are wept. Underdog stories are compelling. Now, I mean real underdogs, not the 12 seed in March that literally everyone and their monkey is calling to upset the 5 seed. To really be an underdog, the idea of you winning anything, from a coin flip to a playoff game has to be laughable. As in makes people laugh. The only way that you earn that level of contempt in the sports world is to produce such a consistent supply of failure that it isn't even a snub anymore when you are picked to finish last in your division. It just makes sense. So many things have to go wrong over the years for this to happen, what with the leagues all focusing on parity and salary caps, and whatnot. Your coach blows up on national television screaming "They are who we thought they were!!". Your defensive captain goes off to fight in a war. You draft Jake Plummer. What this leads to is what I am going to call a colossal karmic debt. Has any team in the NFL accrued more karmic debt than the Arizona Cardinals? Seriously? Even the Lions don't come close. The karmic pendulum has swung so very far to one side with these guys that the back swing has come, inevitable and heavy.

3- The Quarterback: Neither team has a running game to speak of, as Brian Westbrook has been operating under the impression that the Eagles didn't make the playoffs and is currently vacationing in Maui and his doppelganger can't run. Donovan McNabb is crazy. That isn't to say that he isn't a good quarterback, and capable of changing a game, but did you see him run over to the Giants sideline and use their phone? He is equally likely to throw 3 touchdowns, 3 interceptions, or both. It's a three way coin toss. On top of that the Cardinals defense is leading everybody with 12 takeaways in the postseason, twice as many as the vaunted Steelers defense. Donovan McNabb, I would like you to meet Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie. Whereas Warner is living the dream right now. He plays in a dome and gets to just sit back and bomb balls up to the best receiving duo on the planet. The mediocre running game doesn't really hurt him because he is at heart an arena league quarterback who just wants to play seven aside anyway.

4- The Dome: This somehow consistently escapes the notice of the rest of the country, but the Cardinals might play in the nicest stadium in the league. the grass is flat and even, the dome opens to allow a breeze and sunlight, and the seats go almost straight up sitting the entire crowd of 90,000 pretty much directly on the field. For this game, they are closing the dome. They want to trap the sound in make, create a hostile environment. Add two more factors, A) you are dealing with a state that is starved for success. A single glimpse from the Diamondbacks is all that they have had to relieve the tension of being teased by the Suns for the last two decades, and B) the ticket operator were asking for drivers licenses at time of purchase and hanging up on every one with an out of state license. They sold out in 6 minutes. On top of all of that there are the Arizona classic Sonoran hotdog vendors pushing carts around the stadium. Do you think that with all that delicious Mexican aroma in the air Andy Ried will be thinking about football at all? My bet is that he starts calling out Mexican foods half way through the first quarter, screaming "Caramello!", "Asada burrito!", and "Pollo chimi!" at McNabb who only stands there looking confused and a little hungry.


In any case, that game was clear and easy for me. The presence of Steelers defense and a coach who is capable of going more than 15 minutes without craving a Steak and Shake complicates things. I do think that points 1-3 still stand. Big Ben is not quite so prone to implosion as Donovan, but his top end is not nearly as high, despite what the cultists from the 'Burgh may tell you. Over all, he is just a little less exciting. He won't win the game for you, but he probably won't lose it, either. The crowd won't be as much of a factor in this game, given the open stadium and divided crowd, but that might benefit the Cardinals, too, as Steelers fans are notorious for travelling well. In the end I think that the game will come down to the Steelers defense, and Anquan Boldin. The Steelers defense will have to put points on the board. Their odds of doing that are directly related to how Anquan Boldin is feeling, both in his leg and in his head. If he wants to play, and is healthy, then the Steelers are going to have to find a way to do what no one else has been able to do: stop the best recieving tandem since Rice and Taylor.

I don't think they can do it. There is too much on the other side. God, Puppies, the Karmic Balance, the triptych force that is Warner, Boldin, and Fitzgerald. My call: Cardinals 24 - Steelers 13. But there is always the chance that the Steelers win by 30.