The Left Coast Biased

Urban Rodeo, also known as a moderately violent solution to the difficulty of meeting people in our contemporary society, is a time honored sport played by gentlemen and scholars. You might not know exactly what this sport entails, so here is a brief definitive history: Urban Rodeo was born on the classic British tv show 'Balls of Steel', and had the producers of which deigned to respond to our entreaties for endorsement this would be the Official Complete Guide to Urban Rodeo. As is, we would like to make clear that we are in no way affiliated with the show or parent company in question, nor does this post in any way represent the opinions of said companies. UR was then popularized on Youtube, and is defined by Urban Dictionary, that font of contemporary knowledge and wisdom, as jumping on a stranger's back and holding on as long as you can, which is marginally accurate. We are going to be a bit more detailed than that.

Their basic premise is sound: jumping, backs, strangers... Here is where we digress.

- only hold for 8 seconds
- add alcohol
- if they like it, it doesn't count

Apart from those baselines, for full value a proper rodeo grip is one arm going over the shoulder and locking under the opposite armpit, with legs equally locked by tucking one leg between the target's legs and behind the thigh. Feel free to be unnecessarily assertive in applying the leg lock (read: kick the target in his sensitiveness) if the target out weighs you by 15% or more, also known as the Dillabaugh Corollary. The hand not engaged in the arm pit lock is lifted above the head throwing up the UR hand sign - first two fingers crossed and third finger tucked, in a bastardization of the sign language for a U and an R.

Some other guidelines we recommend:

- only half credit for Rodeoing someone smaller than you, unless they work in the circus
- don't Rodeo pretty girls you don't know, they have boyfriends, this will end poorly
- avoid old people, not only do they break but landing on a walker is not pleasant, the are notoriously inflexible
- if the plaid:pinstripe or khaki:denim ratio exceeds 2:1, rodeo at your own risk (e.g. Oklahoma)

With that being said, here is our DISCLAIMER:

Urban Rodeo is not for the weak of heart. We don't just mean that all of you cowards should stay at home and play video games, but also those of you with a heart condition, or history of cardiac trouble in your family, or chest pain in general. Additionally, if you are pregnant or considering becoming pregnant, please consult your physician before attempting to Rodeo anything. While we feel like this should be self-evident, in lawsuits we trust, so we are hereby advising you to not try this at home. Realize the UR is about Throwing yourself on Strangers and trying to not get dropped on your head, the very premise of which constitutes sexual assault in 13 different states in the union. It is very likely that injuries will occur to either you or your target, in fact, that is kind of the allure. Accept the risk and Cowboy Up, but you were warned. Again, we strongly recommend not Rodeoing children, pregnant women or the senile, because if you break old man river's hip it is your own-damn-fault. We told you not to.

But, of course, if you do Urban Rodeo some clown in your local watering hole, have your buddy capture some video proof and we will throw it up here on the website for your eternal glory.

*additional warning: Urban Rodeo has been known to have side effects of increased self-confidence, feeling heroic, and generally being more awesome. These side effects can lead to other, unintended results, such as independent thought, asserting yourself, and growing a mustache, any and all of which can result in the immediate termination of your employment and/or personal relationships. So, again: you were warned.